tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post2895201576885692570..comments2023-10-09T23:00:03.319+05:30Comments on The Daily Moo: My First Short Storysumitrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06982291967366746019noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post-33495461713625166712011-11-27T09:56:33.428+05:302011-11-27T09:56:33.428+05:30@Subroto: Thank you, that's a really big compl...@Subroto: Thank you, that's a really big compliment there. Feels great. Thanks for the encouragement, I will keep churning out more. Please come by more often!<br /><br />@Vikas: Yep, I will pay more attention to re-writing and editing in the future. It's kinda hard to evaluate my own work, my own baby. It's a skill I will have to develop. <br /><br />Thank you for reading through the mistakes and getting to the essence of the story. I'm glad to have written something you could relate to.sumitrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06982291967366746019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post-55601938087394098052011-11-27T09:45:43.498+05:302011-11-27T09:45:43.498+05:30@Kannan: Let me begin by thanking you for taking o...@Kannan: Let me begin by thanking you for taking out the time to read through my story and come up with these valid suggestions and insights. Not everyone would do that for a stranger and I appreciate it deeply. <br /><br />About your feedback, I'm thrilled to receive it. The points you make are valid, each one has something for me to reflect on and make use of in my future writings. Thank you! <br /><br />It's an interesting point you make about being interested in people. I never thought about it that way. I don't know if I've started writing fiction because I'm interested in people. It's just that the ideas, my muse, was always there, only off late I have started to pay attention to it and write down whatever it tells me. I don't think anyone can make a conscious decision to start writing fiction. I'm really not sure I'm doing it because I'm interested in people. And I believe that everybody has a story to tell.<br /><br />Well, please keep reading and commenting. I'd really like that. Thanks again!sumitrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06982291967366746019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post-64369595828797692862011-11-27T09:22:45.528+05:302011-11-27T09:22:45.528+05:30Nice and touching story, Sumitra! Maybe if you re-...Nice and touching story, Sumitra! Maybe if you re-read it a couple of times, you will be able to trim it and keep it shorter, nevertheless, its a fine story indeed. <br /><br />The point where I found an emotional peak is when Yaseen's story finally gets published and after 20 years of close correspondence, the two friends finally meet. I have personally felt an emotion like that when I bumped into good friends after a long time.<br /><br />I hope you keep writing..VNPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11218319937302778995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post-41956202461789302452011-11-26T09:39:00.155+05:302011-11-26T09:39:00.155+05:30And what a fine first short story it. You have go...And what a fine first short story it. You have got the main ingredient down pat - you have a story to tell. <br />Is it perfect? Maybe not - editing/revising may help. <br />Is it readable? It certainly is.<br />Keep on writing.Subrotohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09201941160294779130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post-84335273672223813072011-11-26T08:09:34.319+05:302011-11-26T08:09:34.319+05:30Congratulations for the courage to publish what yo...Congratulations for the courage to publish what you have written. I agree that keeping it to oneself is not going to lead to anywhere.<br /><br />Assuming you're open to feedback -- even negative ones -- let me share my thoughts.<br /><br />1. This is a mistake pretty much everyone starting anew makes: saying everything they thought of. The first 5 paragraphs are what you thought to conceive Nanjappa character. They don't really add much to the story... you could have removed that part.<br /><br />2. Another common mistake is saying instead of showing. You say Nanjappa wasn't so happy with the way his next generation was living. I believe you're trying to make Yasseen look different from that crowd. But that distinction doesn't show strongly because you aren't "showing" how/why Nanjappa disapproved the younger generation he was seeing.<br /><br />Nanjappa reports at work at 8am. He begins his day. Now you can describe in detail the things he does. Most of us don't know the complexities of a postman's job. Talk about those complexities. And "show" the postman's thoughts as he's doing those complex things. If you can show to the reader that Nanjappa does these reasonably complex things without really thinking about them, readers would infer that he's doing his job mechanically.<br /><br />3. The story of the boy. You could have read some real 8-year-olds' writing before writing this. A kid's writing would have lesser spelling mistakes and more grammar errors. And the choice of words won't be so great. (I have never seen a kid say "I was excited", for instance.)<br /><br /><br />Again, I am saying all this with the assumption that this feedback can be of help. I am no big writer, nor a serious reader... so take this all with a pinch of salt.<br /><br />As I was reading your story, I found out why I cannot write a good story. (Because I am not that interested in people... I'm so freaking selfish.) Thank you for that.Mankihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01719555448858778552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post-45749298993352164122011-11-23T18:51:05.589+05:302011-11-23T18:51:05.589+05:30@Sruthi: Thank you so much, your words mean a lot ...@Sruthi: Thank you so much, your words mean a lot to me. I read somewhere that every writer begins by imitation, so I'm trying to walk in the footsteps of my favourite authors. Thanks, I have more stories to come!<br /><br />@Nags: Feedback taken, the plus does sound odd there when I come to think of it. Thank you so much, please keep reading!sumitrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06982291967366746019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post-43238776041671456892011-11-23T09:58:36.171+05:302011-11-23T09:58:36.171+05:30It's a very touching story, talks about simple...It's a very touching story, talks about simple people, simple lives. I loved it. The only thing I would change is the "plus" in this line "Plus, he loved meeting people and talking to them every day.". <br /><br />Keep writing! :)amnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00065092085963619873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post-45971902880442625632011-11-23T05:04:58.977+05:302011-11-23T05:04:58.977+05:30Wow, that was brilliantly written! :) I could tota...Wow, that was brilliantly written! :) I could totally relate because I remember even today how my dad and mom would read through my childish 'poems' and encourage me. And I really liked the way you have described Nanjappa- it kind of reminded me of the postman Thanappa in RK Narayan's work titled 'The Missing Mail' (That was a lesson we did for English in grade 9!) Looking forward to reading more stories penned by you!:DKrishna Sruthi Srivalsanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03176840932082367911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post-31357977805276376002011-11-22T23:40:15.394+05:302011-11-22T23:40:15.394+05:30@Keirthana: Thank you so, so much. At this point, ...@Keirthana: Thank you so, so much. At this point, I'm thankful to anyone who would just read my story, let alone say a nice thing or two. Thank you for taking the time to plod your way through it. Means a lot to me!sumitrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06982291967366746019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770686196376065461.post-85133481226956102622011-11-22T22:09:22.049+05:302011-11-22T22:09:22.049+05:30Awesome writing for a first attempt. And I loved t...Awesome writing for a first attempt. And I loved the plot. How even a single reader and his/her reply makes the writer float up on cloud 9. I could so relate to it with my blog.Keirthanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17556425369242798255noreply@blogger.com