Excuse me, While I Eat!

First off, there are three things you must know about me:

A. I have never been thin (like stick thin) in my life.

B. I am a foodie.

C. I have beaten myself up about A and B.

I'm writing to say that I refuse to, anymore. :D

Okay, so now you know what this post is about, let me e-laborate.

I grew up eating a lot of yummy food. My mom is a really good cook, and we went to these social gatherings often where almost all aunties were good cooks. My parents were never the kind to control me while I ate, they took pride in their daughter's healthy appetite (like all parents do).

Photo Credit: Logan (Creative Commons)

Unfortunately for me, my metabolism wasn't able to catch up. Result? FAT! I never really thought much of it myself, until everyone else (read: relatives) started pointing it out explicitly, telling me I needed to lose weight fast. Let me share with you the worst I heard - I was in the seventh class, when I overheard one relative tell another that no man would marry me because of my weight. I wasn't even fat, just a chubby kid. Sad, I tell you, some people are.

So then I started to get guilty about eating. I tried to change, and my mom helped me with it. It was like a yo-yo. I'd control, then lose control, then control again. I'd exercise a bit, then get lazy. Story of my life. There were fruit diets and those no-rice diets, then only boiled vegetable diets, all kinds of stuff. Nothing worked, but only because I couldn't stick to anything for long. I'm a foodie. I need good food.

Then one day, after a bad phase in life, I rose to the occasion. I cut out the rice, I ate only vegetables and proteins, I exercised like there was no tomorrow. I did this for 6 months. I lost a ton of weight. People wanted to know which branch of VLCC I had joined.

The results were nice, I was fitter than I'd ever been, but the no-carb diet had taken it's toll on my body. My hair lost its shine, I felt faint more often and my bowels suffered too. That's when I realized that what I had done was wrong. I could only maintain everything for a couple of years. Then the weight came back on, along with the food.

Photo Credit: Logan (Creative Commons)

The yo-yo was back, trying and failing. I didn't have the energy to go through one more crazy diet again, it just takes up too much. For those of you who are considering, this is how I always felt while eating just fruits or vegetables or eggs:

• Faint
• Tired
• Hungry
• Constant head-aches.
• Constantly aching for food. I miss my paneer and mushrooms and warm rotis and hot rice and spice powders and everything else!

Too much control leads to too much craving. This was very true in my case. After a lot of thinking, questioning and analyzing about this entire episode with food, I've come to a few conclusions.

1. I do not need to lose weight to look beautiful, I already am.
2. I need to only be fit so that if I run up three flights of stairs, I won't be heaving like an angry buffalo.
3. I should not be trying out eating habits that I cannot follow for the next, say, 10 years.
4. I will not believe nutritionists.
5. I will exercise a fixed number of times a week, and take a break when my body needs it. 
6. I should enjoy said exercise, and enjoy challenging my body each day.
7. I will not measure my weight, or my waist, thighs, arms, neck, cheeks, nose etc.
8. Last, but not least, I will not feel guilty when I eat!

So I did all that and more. I did not go on a diet. I continue to eat regularly. I started a work out schedule, and did not worry about sticking to it. I just enjoyed it. 

Photo Credit: Logan (Creative Commons)

It's been a month now. I don't know how much weight I've lost or how many inches. I don't care. All I know is that I can run up one flight of stairs without panting, and that's something. My clothes fit looser than they used to. I feel energetic and awesome. I'm waiting for the day I can turn those 10 push ups to 20 and 15 dips to 30. Fitness is exciting, when you don't pressure it with too many expectations.

There are a few guidelines that I actually do follow, but it's not that hard.

1. I avoid eating out. God knows what trash they serve in the name of food. Very rarely, if required.
2. I cook what I want to eat.  Home-cooked Indian food isn't actually all that bad for you.
3. I stop eating when I'm not hungry. I don't stuff myself when the food is tasty. 
4. I include a lot of variety - a lot. So I don't get bored. You can see me in the store grabbing packets of all kinds of pulses and grains.
5. Remember the 5 food groups we learned in school - Carbs, Proteins, Vitamins, Minerals, Fats and Water? I have all 5 with every meal.
6. I take vitamin supplements. It helps a lot to stay energetic. (With doc's permission, of course).
7. I don't eat junk. No chips, chocolates, ice cream, cakes, bread, butter, jams or any other kind of nonsense. I even gave up baking. And you know what, I don't even feel like, when I have so many options stocked up at home.

I think I'm finally doing something sensible. And I pride myself for it. No, I'm not thin. Yes, people still tell me to go on fruit diets. I smile at them politely. What else can I do? When I see magazines with super-thin models, I remind myself that there's something called Photoshop. 

Now excuse me, while I go eat. 

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