The Frogs of Our Lives

Img Credit: HikingArtist

Prince Charming does not, I repeat, does not exist. Neither does the Frog Prince.

There, I’ve said it. But you know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that the story of the frog turning into a prince with true love’s kiss is actually metaphorical. Real-life frogs of a particular variety, the ‘good’ variety, can indeed transform into something nice, when and only when need be.

So allow me to present to you, a few important things that you need to know about frogs and good frogs, before you end up marrying them.

‘Girl Problems’

You will be crying/PMSing/in the depths of depression/extremely irritable for a completely valid reason that all your girlfriends would get in a jiffy, yet said frog would be totally clueless as to what’s happening to you. He will start off by treating it as some sort of mechanical failure, trying to ‘fix’ it, and you. Wrong, wrong, wrong, right?

The Good Frog: After true love’s kiss and also after many educational sessions, this one can be trained to respond in a more appropriate manner during future breakdowns.

Presents and such

You will have started dropping hints about what you would like for a birthday/anniversary gift at the exact time that is not too late so he has time to shop, and not so early that he might end up forgetting about it. And yes, he will not forget what you said, but said frog will be too thick to get the hint. So after racking his brains about what to get you, he will finally buy something that you neither like nor can use.

The Good Frog: After seeing the disappointment you are trying to hide with a smile, Good Frog will slap his forehead, kick himself for not getting the hint and take you out to buy you what you really want. Yes, this is definitely a possibility after true love’s kiss.

Ahh, Housework…

The thing about most Indian frogs is that they’re spoilt silly by their moms. Also by a few aunts and cousins, who believe him to be the prince he never really transformed into. So in all possibility, he has never cooked, washed dishes, done laundry, cleaned his room, or done anything remotely related to physical labor at home.

The Good Frog: A few sessions of  ‘Perspective Cleansing’ later, said frog will realize that the ‘frogettes’ of his generation have pretty much been raised the same way – spoilt silly by their moms. A mutual understanding with regards to sharing of household responsibilities can be reached, once temper tantrums have given way to a mature conversation.

Romance, or Lack Thereof

Frogs can be pretty sneaky when it comes to their woo-powers. Actually, stingy is the right word. They will use these powers only to the exact amount needed to ‘pataofy’ (impress) a girl. After girl has fallen for the frog-charms, all romantic capabilities will vanish into thin air, faster than you can say Evanesco! More so, after the wedding bells have sounded. Tell me, what is a poor girl to do without some romance in her life?

The Good Frog: Despair not, my frogette sisters, for all hope is not lost when the Good Frog is around. After making sure that his ‘needs’ are met, it is easy to appeal to him with logic and reason that our needs are important as well. Said frog will then use the powers of Google to come up with romantic ideas and (after botching up a few things), will do something to our liking once in a while.

So there you have it, my two-cents about the Frogs of Our Lives. Of course, I will have several more points to add when little Froggitties come into the picture. Until then, I leave you to ponder some more over these little tidbits of frog-wisdom.

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