Feb 25, 2011

A new beginning, A new life...

The past 8 days of my life have been a whirlwind of sorts.

There are some things that I have just 'gotten'. You know, like, I get it now. Not logically, not from the mind. But experientially. I kind of get it.

What it means to be silent. Truly silent.

Exactly 3 years ago, long before Isha flooded through my life, I wrote a piece on silence. About not really understanding it, wondering if it's really a possibility. You can read that over here.

Now, as though someone had heard my plea, waved a wand, and decided to let me know, I am able to understand what silence really is. And what it takes to get there.

I have longed and pined for a break from all the mess that is my mind, my existence. I have long waited for a break, for when I can start over, for when I can be given a second chance. How ecstatic I am that I have finally received it.

For eight days in my experience, I was carried by my Guru, as a mother carries a child in her womb. He has nurtured me; what he has done, I cannot exactly say as I don't know myself. I have been left with just the experience of it.

He has delivered me into the world, with the quiet hope of making it someday and the means to get there. A sure shot means of getting to self-realization. In the most blissful way possible.

What a Guru. What a Man. What a Being. A glimpse of his stillness, the absolute sweetness of the very air he breathes out. The sweetness that now resides in me.

How can I explain these things with words when what I have experienced is not in the realm of the spoken.

All I can say is that he has steered me in the right direction, and lit the path for me with his own shining radiance. He stands beside me all through the way. And each step I take, when I give myself to it, he gives of himself too.

He has literally shown me the difference between imposing discipline on myself and doing something just out of sheer love. He has enabled me to fall in love with my very breath. Fall in love with the source of my life itself.

Life feels full of possibilities now. Feels like I can start from the beginning. This time I can get it right. Because I know what I have to do. This time I can lay the foundation straight, before I can attempt to fly. This time I have a safety net.

This time I have my Guru. Thank you, Sadhguru.