Dec 31, 2008

i've been tagged??

i'm not really familiar with this game(?) and honestly i think its kinda lame.. (hey that rhymes!)..

but a dear friend of mine tagged me in hope that i will start blogging again.. so in order to oblige.. here goes..

i think im supposed to answer these questions:

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?
----> no idea.. depends.

2. If you could have one dream come true which one would it be?
----> to be super-slim no matter what i eat and be rich enough to travel the world without ever having to work again.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
----> not mentionable here.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
----> keep a million, give away the rest and travel the world.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
----> dumb question.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
----> being loved! being loved!.. loving is ok too..

7. How long would you wait for someone you love?
----> depends.. if im going to miss the start of a movie then im not waiting..

8. If the person you like is secretly attached, what would you do?
----> attached.. as in siamese twin?

9. If you could root for one social cause which one would it be?
----> why just one?

10. What takes you down the fastest?
----> lift.

11. Change of quest..... What's your main Aim in life?
----> to be happy with myself.

12. What's your fear?
----> lizards.

13. What kind of person(s) do you think the person who tagged you is/are?
-----> werido. but nice.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
----> married and rich.

15. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
----> go back to sleep. for a while..

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who would you pick?
----> not possible.

17. Would you give all in a relationship?
----> all what?

18. What's eating you now?
----> this survey.

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
----> i prefer the way i am now.

Aug 26, 2008

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.. back after a long time.. i guess even the few readers i had would have disappeared by now.. hehe. shameless i am.

hopefully there will be a little more activity on my blog now... following up on the post i did about the proposal and the ring.. obviously there is gonna be a wedding.. pretty soon.. probably sooner than i expected. probably not. so much speculation and discussion..

its exciting and scary at the same time.. wow!! am i rushing into marriage.. am i doing the right thing?!! life is going to change forever.. Everything's gonna change.. wow.. WOW!!! wow.. its just so overwhelming i dunno what to say.. or what to write. i just hope i have enough wisdom and maturity and grace to handle everything well.

planning a wedding is going to be real fun. hopefully i'll post most of it here. even more fun is going to be planning the honeymoon!! :D

another exciting event of the recent past is me turning 25. so i have 2 reasons to be called aunty now. sumitra aunty. yyew. haha. hmm.. time's just flyin by like that. kinda sad about all the good times that have passed.. excited about the good times to come... hopefully there will be many in store for me!!

Aug 3, 2008

hi peoples.

im trying to keep up with my resolution to blog every sunday. so far so good.

hmm.. what should i ramble on about this week??? hmmmm...

prolly something i've been thinking about for a while now.. just something that's been toying around in my mind for a few months.. all the stuff about global warming and stuff..

im not sure how to write about this topic.. coz usually my topics are all stuff that originate in my head. or during the course of my life.

i dont want to pretend that im a big environment enthusiast or power saver or anything like that. i know for sure that im a definite polluter of the earth and i probably shamelessly will be for the rest of my life. sad, not funny. i know that too.

sometimes i feel guilty. sometimes i feel i just cant help it. my lifestyle just demands i do a few things that are not friendly to the environment in any way at all. but sometimes i look at the people around me. and i realise im not so bad. i see people who will never turn off lights in any room at all. who will insist on using a/c in cabs inspite of the lovely weather outside. who will spend thousands of rupees on electric bills just because they can afford to. and be proud of it as well. who have not powered off their PCs in months and have no plans to do so. who will use a car to travel short distances that could easily be covered on foot or public transport. then i dont feel im so bad.

but that doesnt stop me from feeling bad. i feel bad at how oblivious we have become. how less we care about what happens around us. how self-absorbed we have become that we have no time to spare to think about the world around us. we spend so much on escaping to beautiful locales and getting rid of stress but we never realise that we have to play a part in preserving all the beauty. true, resorts can replicate a bit of nature, but nothing can replicate what is natrual and god-made.

i dont mean to get preachy. something else in me tells me that all this has happened sometime, a long time before. and all this has to happen again. history repeats itself. we humans do not learn from our mistakes.

something destroyed the world before and something will again. perhaps the end really is near. perhaps this is how things have to be. perhaps the levels of selfishness, evil and terrorism will reach such levels that living here will be not be possible anymore. perhaps the earth will explode or implode, unable to bear the burden of the parasite that is the human race. or it may just break down and cease to function like an old, used, abused car.

okay, so now i sound freaky. and some people refuse to believe that global warming even exists. changing perceptions is indeed something unbelieavably difficult. even if perceptions change, old-habits die hard.

what's my point, u ask? what am i trying to get at? honestly i dont know. im pretty confused about it myself. but in the meantime, i do try my best. here's some of the things i do on my part, whenever i can:

  • i always always switch off my monitor/pc/laptop if im not going to come back to it for more than an hour.
  • i dont let water simply run down when im brushing or washing my face.
  • i dont use a shower, i use a bucket and a mug.
  • i make sure that taps dont leak and are properly closed.
  • i use CFL lamps at home.
  • i dont use the a/c when i know i can live without it.
  • i dont use any vehicles when i know i can walk.
  • sometimes i walk a short distance before i take an auto to go somewhere far.
  • i dont leave appliances plugged in when they are not in use.
  • i always switch off lights, fans and all electrical appliances when they are not in use.
  • i try to use cooking water to water plants instead of throwing it down the drain (eg. water used for washing vegetables, rice, etc.)
  • i avoid using plastic bags, bottles and paper cups as much as possible. where ever possible i carry a cloth-bag and water-bottle from home. i use washable spoons instead of plastic, disposable ones.
  • i dont use chop-sticks. ( i cant even if i wanted to :-))
  • i try to research and find out what other small, easy things i can do on my part.

it's nothing so great. but i know im trying to do my part. atleast i make an effort to. another part of my part would be to try and create an awareness. but im skeptical about how many people would be willing to follow these. or if they would even be interested. i know people who are extremely lavish when it comes to polluting the environment.

im not perfect. and i know that very well. i dont like creating a hype or an image of a very environment-friendly person. that would make me a hypocrite.

i just try my best to be a responsible citizen of this world. its not too hard. and it doesnt take too much of my time. just a bit of concious effort.

if all the educated people of the world tried to do this, probably we could make a small difference. probably preserve the earth and its natural resources for a few more generations to enjoy.

or we could just be this way and see the world deteriorate under our excesses and exploits. it wouldnt really affect us in any way, just the next generations to come. we would be dead and long gone by then anyway. why bother.

its just a choice really. we could preserve the beauties of this planet for centuries to come, or save a lot of money for our decendants with no world to enjoy it in. incidentally, saving power, gas and pertol also saves money.

its just a choice, really.

Jul 27, 2008

delicious hobby

i'm taking cooking lessons. from my mom and my grandmom.. its been my sunday ritual for the past month or so.. and im learning some nice south-indian dishes, esp. from my granma...

its really fun to cook actually, but my mom says i feel that way only coz its the beginning.. after a few years i'll get bored of it. that's probably true. but for now, it is a nice feeling to cook something different every week, and my family is waiting for what im going to make the next sunday, there's a discussion around it, there are some requests, frantic searching for ingredients, old notebooks with recipies scribbled in some unfathomable language.. its a fun event.. i get to take a break from the week-long regimen of "healthy-food".. and i can make out the family really enjoys it and looks forward to it as well. it kind of makes sundays into fun, family days.

i guess its true that the happiness of a home largely depends on the woman of the home. how well she maintains it and provides for the family. i mean, men can be responsible in terms of earning money and stuff, but when it comes to a happy, homely home.. its totally in the woman's hand. no offense to feminists, but im kind of proud of this talent that we women have.. and i think that we should really rejoice it. i know its hard for working women, to juggle everything, but i'd certainly like to give it my best shot.. until i get bored of it like my mom says.. haha!

another great thing about cooking is that its fun to cook for people who really enjoy eating. its like, if u try 10 different varieties, but the response is the same everytime (no response), you really dont feel like it. but for people who love food and appreciate a variety of flavours, its really worth the effort. cooking is a kind of service.. u dont cook for yourself, you never really cook for yourself. or even if u do, ur heart isnt in it. when its for someone else its always more fun.

so far i've learnt the following dishes:
  • bagara baingan - this is a nice brinjal gravy dish i learnt from my grandma. but its a little tedious.
  • china rice - again from my granny. sounds unusual i know, it think its her own invention. everyone in my family absolutely adores this dish. really yummy.
  • sodhi - this is a typical south indian dish, its a kind of stew with vegetables cooked in coconut milk.. absolutely awesome. learnt it from my mom.
  • vangi bath - or that's what i think its called. rice with brinjals mixed into it. i think its a kannada dish but im not sure. i love it.
going forth, i'll try to post recipies of some of the nice dishes i learn along with pics. hope it would be useful to somebody..

Jul 23, 2008

Long time no blog.. i've gotten unbelievably lazy.. well not anymore. I'm going to make it a point to blog atleast once a week.. i think.. hehe..

i think i've got writer's block again.. plus im not well today.. i think i slept for the longest time ever.. lets see.. i went to bet at 11.30 last night and woke up at 2pm this afternoon.. that's 14.5 hrs. well, no i haven't broken my record which is 16 hours of non-stop sleep.. mmm.. i'll never forget that.. it was the best sleep ever..

i dont feel like i sound like myself for some reason.. i think its the writer's block.. no inspiration and no ideas flowing..

i think i'll try again some other time..

Jun 22, 2008

It was a saturday evening and they were bored. Bored of the usual routines of weekdays and weekends. She wanted to try out something new.. do something that they didn't do often.. something outdoor-sy. He wanted to do something spontaneous.

They decided to meet the following morning. He was to pick her up from her place. They had no idea what they were going to do.

He picked her up as decided and stopped the bike a few miles away while they thought about where to go. The weather was amazing and too good to waste indoors. They were all in for some physical activity, and also something not too fancy. Exploring the city and visiting old monuments had always been a long-postponed-thing they wanted to do together. After five minutes and some quick decisions, they found themselves heading towards Golconda fort.. he hadn't been there since he was a kid and she always had an interest for places of historical importance..

A long, lovely drive later.. they reached their destination. The lovely aroma of corn-cobs roasted on coal (or charcoal.. whatever) greeted them and they had to have some to complement the weather. It felt simply amazing. As they entered the fort along with the other average sunday sight-seers, they could almost sense the long lost grandeur and magical old times associated with the fort's boundary walls.

They decided on not engaging a guide, but exploring the fort themselves. They bought a small book about the place that was also a map which told them that the place was almost a 1000 years old.. They were amazed at the architecture and the sheer intelligence and craftsmanship of the people those days. They talked about how it was a shame that all that wisdom was never passed down to future generations.

As they steadily climbed up the hill through the fort, they marveled at almost everything that met their sight. She was lost imagining how the kings and queens of yore would have lived.. and who might have walked those very pathways just a several hundred years ago. He was busy figuring out how the fort must have been planned, where the secret passageways could have been and how the water storage and circulation system was planned. They shared their thoughts and had a great time reaching the very top of the fort where there was a small temple.. and then a biradari where the king would come up for a view of the country side. They climbed to the top of the biradari and stood at a window looking down on the entire city.. and how beautiful it was from up there, with the cool breeze blowing.. they could almost here the king's musicians playing old sufi music on a lazy sunday afternoon....

They started their walk down-hill in high spirits.. She made up a story about their unrequited-love of a thousand years ago.. how she was a beautiful arabian princess who visited this fort with her father, and he was a tax-minister at the fort and the only person who did not look up to admire her beauty.. eventually they fell in love and were imprisoned for life, as the world did not understand their love. He looked at her seriously and said that to him she is an arabian princess right now. It was cheesy, but it made her feel good. They held hands and went skipping down the stone steps. She slipped once and sat hard on her bottom and they had a good laugh.

They were now entering the area where the king and queen's bedrooms were built and on the way they found a place that looked like an ancient courtyard.. rectangular, with beautiful arches in the walls and stone steps along the sides. It was empty and she suggested they rest there for a while to get away from the crowd and catch their breath as well. He agreed.

They went in and sat on the steps, drank some water and talked about the fort for a while. He asked her if she liked this place, and she said that she did, very much. Then from nowhere, he whipped out a pen and a notepad and said that he wanted help in putting on paper all the things that he felt for her, all the stuff that he had difficulty, or did not know how to express. She said that she would be glad to help him and suggested that he could start of by listing some of her qualities that he liked a lot. He went on to list a page full of nice words like caring, loving, understanding.. and so on. She stopped him and asked what all these words meant as they were general words used on any person. He then took the time to explain how he saw each of those qualities in her and how he felt that he was incredibly lucky to have her in his life. He went on speaking until she realised how well he understood her and there were tears in her eyes. There were some people coming and going in to the courtyard, but time seemed to have stood still as they were lost in their own happy world.

He said that having said all this, he had something to give her. He took out a small green box from his pocket, held it before her and asked her to open it. She felt excited as she opened the box. To her surprise, she found a long red string in there. It was confusing.. what was he trying to give her? He smiled, tied the string around her left ring finger, and held the other end in his hand. He asked her to close her eyes and try to feel through the string what he felt for her. She did feel an incredible bond and a close connection between them. Then he asked her to open her eyes and look up at the pretty clouds.. as she was doing that, she felt something slide through the string and onto her finger. She looked down and saw a diamond ring glittering on her finger. She looked at him in shock and surprise and he asked her if she would marry him. She was speechless for a minute and then she said yes. It was the happiest moment of their lives. They were so happy that they dint even think to hug each other. It was just so happy.

She had realized that the one person who understood her better than anyone else was asking her to be his wife. What more could she ever ever want. He was saying something about the significance of the ring and the diamonds and what he would like her to think every time she looked at the ring.. but she wasn't listening too well. She was so overwhelmingly happy.

After a while and some more talking, they decided it was time to leave. As they got up, she asked him why he chose this place. He said it was so full of rich stories and he wanted their own story to be linked with something that was etched in history and time. She asked him where he got the idea of the string and all. He said he saw it in a movie and liked it a lot.

She thought it was cheesy.. But it made her feel awesome. :-)

Jun 4, 2008

long time..

i read in todays paper that a blog is now considered a type of resume.. that recuriters and employers actually search online for prospective employees, their blogs, etc etc.. so the article went on to mention that we must be careful with our blog posts, think about entries.. make them reflect the best, most positive (and non-existant) skills of ours.. and never never divulge our true feelings, inner thoughts.. (basically the thougts that make us look weird)..

typical.. this world is so artificial. i thought that blogging was the one medium that u can use to vent out all those feelings and thoughts and the crazy stuff never shared before.. i thought its the one place where you can take off that out-wordly mask and be yourself.. but no.. the world has to take that too and turn it into some sort of parameter of judgement in this meaningless rat race..

now people will start making blogs not out of the love of blogging or writing but just to fill in posts and posts about their achievements and how great they are.

this world is too artificial for me to handle.

May 4, 2008

I've always been a plain-jane girl-next-door kind of person...

all through life i kept wondering at what point do i stop being a person and start being a girl.... i mean.. i know what it is like to be a girl.. but to actually feel like one.. its a different thing.. and i never did.. (dont get me wrong this is not going to turn into a confession of something else lol!!)..

sometimes i wondered.. does it take a man in ur life to really make you feel all girly? well.. that's not entirely true i guess.. there are so many single women who seem so in tune with their feminity.. what is it then that distinguishes the average 'homely' women from the sensuous, sexy women that the whole world is crazy about...

is it good looks? is it being attractive, or 'well endowed' (keke..) or tall, or graceful, or having great features, or style? why is it that some women are able to do so well.. and some women are .. well... feministically-challenged??

i think i actually, really know the answer to that one.. honestly, truly.. but i dont want to face it.. i dont want to really acknowledge it.. so i keep pretending i dont know what it is....

it's what every girl who doesn't seem to care much about looks says.. 'i dont really care.. its too shallow.. i would like to be beyond mere looks.. true beauty is on the inside not outside.. etc etc..' i know.. ive given these speeches to myself loads of times.. and hey i do believe it too.. true beauty is definitely about what's inside.. and there's a lot of women who do deep and meaningful things in their lives that even justifies what they say about looks...

i guess the point im trying to make here is.. are the women of my type really justified in saying that being interested in looking good is shallow? i for one can understand that maintaining looks is not an easy business at allll.. infact, its easier to pick up and memorize a dictionary in 3 months.. than to stay on a diet,keep your skin shining, keep your hair flowing, the perfect figure the perfect clothes.. and shoes.. its real hard work.. so.. what's really wrong if that's who you choose to be.. what's so shallow about it?

i guess its only wrong when u start harming your body and your mind in a quest to look good.. which i guess is done even otherwise by other women who 'dont care' by eating and sitting around all day doing other important stuff..

so.. ive always been the plain-jane kind of girl.. the girl who never cared about looks and therefore let her looks disappear into some neverland so far far away that she doesn't know if she can ever have them again.. why does it matter? because it does.. because i think deep down inside, sub-consiously, no matter how much denied, women still do deeply care about how they look. every woman wants to have skinny thighs and great skin and an ocassional glance of admiration... atleast every woman that i have met or heard of..

i've come to realise that.. when women like me realize they can never be 'that' good-looking.. they kind of give up and resort to the 'i think beauty is over-rated' line.. kind of like stay in that safety-net-zone area...

i've also come to realize that.. (with a little help ofcourse).. that just because you cant be 'that' good looking, its no reason to completely give up on yourself and your body.. because.. however you are, your body needs you.. and the woman inside needs you too.. and truly, women love feeling pampered.. with good clothes.. with shoes, accessories, a healthy body, massages, facials.. what not..

i've definitely come to realise that.. just because i dont look like the girl on the poster.. it doesnt mean i should deny myself the right to feel sensual from inside.. and there is no rule that i need to look like the girl on the poster to be able to feel sensual at all..

feeling like a woman has nothing to do with the way a person looks.. nothing to do with what others think of you.. and nothing to do with how the world sees you.. and is not related to whether there's a man in your life or not..

feeling like a woman is about doing things like a woman.. embracing the feminine side of you.. letting yourself get the occasional pampering.. enjoying a thing or two girly-style.. taking a break from trying to succeed in a man's world.. and actually remembering to be a woman..

i wish i had realised these things earlier.. and not wasted some precious years of my youth.. but i guess better late than never..

there are still somethings that i am severely handicapped at.. like picking out good clothes and shoes and bags.. im also fasionistically-challenged..

but i can work on the things that i can do.. and i will do...

im not sure if i can change the way i look from outside, but i can definitely change the way i feel from inside... that is in my control.. and will be in my control forever..

i've got a lot of thinking and planning to do.. (im so excited! i love doing that)... i guess i will keep posting more stuff here as i go forward... hopefully it will work out great...

Apr 30, 2008

I hate summer

I cant believe i loved summer when i was a kid.

I was a weird kid. All kids are werid.

Once there were no other kids in the park and i was swinging all by myself for 2 hours straight in the afternoon in the middle of the desert-summer. I was looking at the sun all the time.. trying to make shapes in the bright sunlight each time i opened my eyes.. I could see swords and horses and desert warriors.. i made up my own stories as i kept swinging. The next day i was sick with a sun stroke. I remember vividly smiling myself to sleep thinking about the warriors even as i was sick.

I was a weird kid. summer doesnt seem to affect kids at all. they have buffalo skin. the heat just doesnt get through.

i hate summer now. summer is especially unkind to girls. and specially specially unkind to girls like me with sensitive skin that gets tanned one shade darker every 5 minutes in the sun. its a ridiculous curse. i hate it.. well atleast i know that i have less risk of skin cancer or something.. whatever.. i feel like the kid in the commercial with the sun sucking from a straw at the top of his head... i feel exactly like that.

i want to sit in a tub full of ice cubes. i want to live in a refrigerator. i want to go to the north pole.. or south pole.. or wherever where there's ice. my brain refuses to work and my body refuses to move when its so hot.. i feel dull and sluggish and kind of stupid.. (or maybe that's just regular me.. i dunno :D) ..

yuck yuck yuck.

yuck yuck yuck yuck. stupid sticky summer. yuck yucky summer yuck.

Apr 4, 2008



Doesn't sound like an interesting topic? Good.. then ur probably an extrovert..

hehe.. just kidding..

So i've done some research in this subject.. and i have some findings.. and findings of any research are not meant to be kept to oneself.. but shared with others.. so here i go..

"An Extrovert is a person who is friendly and outgoing. An Introvert is a shy person. All introverts should strive to become extroverts. "

This, sadly, is what most people understand and believe to be true. It's not their fault. It's the way people are conditioned. Let me share some of my real findings...


Is indeed a person who is friendly and outgoing. However, there's more to it than just that. The focus of energy for an extrovert is in the outside world, in other words, they are externally- focussed people, energized by being around other people.


An internally-focussed person who is energized by being alone and feels drained of energy by being around other people.


A state of a person characterized by nervousness, apprehension, self-consciousness and a lot of anxiety.

Fact: a shy person may be an introvert, but all introverts are not shy. as a matter of fact, introverts are also not arrogant as often thought to be.

Extrovert vs. Introvert:

1. Extroverts tend to fade when alone and can become bored when there are no people around. An extrovert will talk to someone rather than sit alone and think. Introverts are more concerned with their inner world. They love thinking and exploring their thoughts and feelings.

2. Extroverts tend to think as they speak and think better while they are talking, while introverts tend to think before they speak.

3. Extroverts enjoy social situations and seek them out since they love being around people. Introverts often avoid social events as being around people drains their energy, even if they have good social skills. After being with people for a long time, they need time alone to recharge.

4. Extroverts have several and a wide circle of friends. Introverts need and make friends too, but are very selective about it.

5. Extroverts appear to be more socially skilled compared to introverts. However, introverts exhibit very little difficulty in speaking to known/unknown people when it comes to concepts and issues.

Point to note:

When introverts want to be alone, it is not, by itself, a sign of depression. It means that they either need to regain their energy from being around people or that they simply want the time to be with their own thoughts. Being with people, even people they like and are comfortable with, can prevent them from their desire to be quietly introspective. Being introspective, though, does not mean that an introvert never has conversations. However, those conversations are generally about ideas and concepts, not about what they consider the trivial matters of social small talk.

Introverts make up about 60% of the gifted population but only about 25-40% of the general population.

The Problem:

Unfortunately, our society today, corporate and otherwise, considers the behaviour of an extrovert as the norm against which all other behaviour is measured. While in reality, extroverted behaviour is only a manifestation of the way an extrovert interacts with the world.

It might be a little harsh to say that this may be a form of unrecognized discrimination. However, a subtle discrimination against introverts certainly does exist.


We must come to realize that introverts are not 'wrong' people, but just people. They come with their own set of talents and unique perspective, as a result of their intrinsic analysis. These talents are as needed as any others for the success of a project/organization. When forced to wear the 'mask of extroversion', they might be sub-consciously drained of their energy, thereby hindering their progress. Just like an extrovert would feel if confined and not allowed to interact with others.

Some famous introverts of our world: Steven Spielberg, Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, Michael Jordon, Isaac Newton, Princess Diana.


Mar 16, 2008

INFP - the healer....

For years i found it hard to believe i am a Leo. I wondered if sun-signs were really true, or accurate.. or even made any sense.. but it seemed to make sense to many other people.. most other people.. they were always able to 'belong'.. then why din't i? i would wonder why i could never find the remotest similarity between me and the described characteristics of a leo.. i came to the conclusion that perhaps the date of my birth was wrong.. and then searched all the other sun-signs for a shred of resemblance..i found there would be some in all the signs..but i couldn't possibly be all put together.. makes no sense... was i like an exception to the rule? the person who could be fit nowhere? or was all of this just meaningless coincidence that worked for some people only..

after several years of this confusion.. one of my dear friends introduced me to the concept of MBTI.. according to which all the people in this world can be broadly divided in 16 personality types.. depending on whether they are introverted or extroverted they way they perceive, sense the world and they way they judge, make decisions..

one online test later.. i found myself reading a description.. of what seemed to be exactly me. i felt like someone who had known me for longer than ever and better than me had actually written down every single thing about me.. exactly the way i have been. it was a wonderful feeling.. to see that a concept exists that is able to describe me.. and able to even describe quite accurately the other people i know..

according to this concept.. i am an INFP.. Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving person.. which is pretty much true.. and makes sense..

reading about myself helped a lot.. in understanding me better.. and explaining a few of my charectaristics.. and figuring out why i have always felt so misunderstood..

A brief description of INFP --- (scraped from here )

The Portait of the Healer (INFP)

Healer Idealists are abstract in thought and speech. Healer present a seemingly tranquil, and noticably pleasant face to the world, and though to all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved, having a capacity for caring not always found in other types. They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world.

Healers have a profound sense of idealism derived from a strong personal morality, and they conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place. Indeed, to understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad or Joan of Arc. Healers are found in only 1 percent of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity.

Healers seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect, perhaps because they are likely to have a sense of inner division threaded through their lives, which comes from their often unhappy childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood, which, unfortunately, is discouraged or even punished by many parents. In a practical-minded family, required by their parents to be sociable and industrious in concrete ways, and also given down-to-earth siblings who conform to these parental expectations, Healers come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. Other types usually shrug off parental expectations that do not fit them, but not the Healers. Wishing to please their parents and siblings, but not knowing quite how to do it, they try to hide their differences, believing they are bad to be so fanciful, so unlike their more solid brothers and sisters. They wonder, some of them for the rest of their lives, whether they are OK. They are quite OK, just different from the rest of their family-swans reared in a family of ducks. Even so, to realize and really believe this is not easy for them. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, Healers can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. Healers are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with the profane, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when Healers believe thay have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the Healer, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public.

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the best thing i like about this concept is.. it has nothing to do with religious beliefs, no astrology and no fate involved. it makes sense. its based on analysis and observation.

if anyone reading this feels compelled to figure out their personality type, the test may be taken here

information about all types is freely available on the net. just google it.

Feb 27, 2008

Sometimes i wonder...

is god is a school kid.. and this whole universe, a science project..

its amazing how we are a tinier than tiny, miniscule part of the universe, and yet how complicated we can make our daily lives and get so engrossed in it so that we have no time to ponder at how mysterious and beautiful everything is around us..

were all the avatars of Lord Rama the same concept of animagi in harry potter? was Rama a wizard who had magical powers to transform himself into animals and strange creatures?

who stood this very spot that i am at right now, a 1000 years ago? could it have been me in a different life??

does my soul know the soul of the stranger who sits beside me in a crowded bus? do we acknowledge each other without the mind knowing it?

what if god came here right now.. and told me that fate does not exist and it was me who wrote my entire life's story before i was born.. and i chose all the people i would meet and circumstances that i'm in right now.. (hehe.. what was i thinking??!)

what if a father disowned his son for wanting to be a doctor and not an actor..

would this world be the same place if kids were taught to follow their dreams instead of the marks of the neighbour's kid..

is there a secret book that categorically defines all the actions termed as 'right'.. and those called 'wrong'..

if a child spelt 'life' as 'liph'.. and was given a star for understanding the meaning..

what if we all felt that true freedom is freedom from the conditioning of the mind to see the world in a certain way.. what if we decided to break free of the chains of conditioning..

is it really true that the beauty of this world lies in its ability to show itself to us exactly the way we see it.. and hence we have the power to create whatever we fancy around us..

what if we discovered that we really have that power..

are we so conditioned that we would find it easier to accept 'karma' and not bother to use the power..

or would we leave the 'intelligent' scientists to use the power to create gadgets that make us more conditioned..

is it true that we must always 'fear' god..

is it true that we must ignore the fact that we could never have had a sense of humour if god did not have one in the first place..

are we supposed to be ignoring the possibility that all this world put together is actually God, and we have the power to create.. and we might be using all our power to create a future of destruction through hate, violence and negative competition..

are these valid wonderings.. do they have real answers? or just a million other questions in response....

Feb 24, 2008

Ooooooooooo Noooooorieeeeeeeeeeee.........

Yesterday was such a crazy crazy day..well what else can i expect being with baba.. Freaky-Freakenstein he is.. keeps trying to scare me with his weird stunts.. but he never can.. (welll.. almost never can.. hehe)

yeah.. so last night was crazy.. me, baba and sai anna were supposed to go out to dinner from neetu's place.. so we happily got ready.. and happily locked the door.. and baba was trying to imitate the lift's lady voice which i still think he should not have done.. and we happily got into the lift.. and for less than a fraction of a second i got this weird thought that something stupid might happen.. and then i dismissed it.. and we got in, closed the door, pressed '0', started moving.. and thennnnnn......... Power Cut!!!! Lift stuck and us stuck in the lift.. and we had no idea where the lift was.. kinda looked like it was in-between two floors.. but it was too dark.. and me and sai anna are like.. oh shit what now and stuff.. and what does baba do?? He has to do something mad right..starts screaming realll loud.. 'OOOOOOOOOOOO Nooooooooorie Noooooooooooooooorie..' and tried making all weird spooky ghost noises to scare me.. (which he didnt anyway).. and me and sai anna were trying to shut him up.. so the situation was something like this...

Big apartment building, no power, totally dark(duh..), totally silent.. ppl in their homes.. one elevator, 3 ppl stuck in it, one screaming like a banshee and the other 2 screaming to shut him up.. well it was freaky and funny at the same time.. an then one of us (dun remember who) got the common sense to get some light from the mobile (it wasnt baba).. and realised we really were stuck in between 2 floors.. and we could try to climb out if we could just get the outer door open.. which had to be done by pushing some kind of lever that we couldnt reach.. so we were there.. baba screaming still.. me and sai anna wondering how long we would be in there.. hungry... and then all of a sudden..... we saw a light.. yellow light.. candle light.. coming up the stairs.. and with the light.. a little boy.. in shorts.. coming closer to the lift.. slow small steps.. came really really close till we could see his face in the candle light.. all went silent.. (yes even baba).. and then the voice of the scared little boy.. "kaun hai... kaun hai.." and then.. the 3 of us were like.. "help! help! we're stuck.. help help!" and the poor boy got scared all the more.. haha.. by this time a lot of ppl were coming out of their homes to see what the ruckus was all about.. and we shouted for help somemore.. and ppl came with their torches peering into the lift to see what was stuck.. i guess they wouldnt help until they were sure it wasnt really a ghost in the lift.. and then ppl realised they had to help us out.. and then figured out were the emergency lever was.. and then a real smart-ass lady tried to push the lever with a stick from the broom.. which obviously broke.. and then finally someone got an iron rod.. and we managed to scramble out of the lift.. and as sooooooooooon as we got out........... guess what.. that very second.. the power came back on!! freaky..

i still think it was because baba offended the lift-lady.. and she had some fun of her own....

And then we finally got to dinner.. and so did meenal.. this place called Terrace Bay.. was pretty good.. and during dinner i came to a conclusion that baba is racist!! Towards drinks. I'll explain. So meenal ordered this blue mocktail..which was actually pretty good and baba thinks that.. if guys are seen with blue colored drinks.. that makes them look gay!! or for that matter pink, green or any other colored drinks.. the only okay ones are colorless or yellow colored.. which i totally do not agree with.. coz i think ppl should be free to drink whatever they choose without any tags attached.. but baba and sai anna say that if a guy in a pub has a blue drink in his hand that automatically looks gay.. so that makes them drink-racists.!!

well..i guess ppl have a right to choose their drinks and also their opinions.. so.. whatever...

Feb 19, 2008

Reeelaxation Redefined............

I had the most amaaaaaaaaazing weekend.. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm......

I think i found a place that gives the best massages ever.. okay maybe there are better places, but its the best ive ever been to.. before i thought i just liked massages but now i just love them!!!
So i got a free massage.. hehe.. maybe that's why i liked it so much..

I'm not really sure what type of massage it was.. it wasnt the actual massage itself i think that was great.. more like the whole ambience and the way i was treated.. the staff were so curteous, first i got to relax on this nice soft-soft couch.. and i was served fresh watermelon juice.. twas kind of diluted but still.. pretty good.. and then i got to change into a nice soft fluffy robe.. and the actual massage room was really good.. dim lights, soft music.. (there's a lot of softs i know..) and i was made to sit in the room by this chinese lady (im not sure if she was chinese.. oriental i could say..) and my feet were washed!! that's their way of welcoming the guests supposedly.. or maybe a way of making sure their sheets dint get too dirty.. hehe.. and then the actual massage.. that was just heavenly.. and then the steam bath... that was just.. well.. actually... that was kind of.. what can i say... scary... hehe.. i know!! weird right???? what's so scary about a steam bath.. right?? well i guess im such a weirdo and my mind suddenly decides to make up crazy stuff for no reason..

so.. im in the steam bath room area.. note that im alone in there.. and im just sitting there.. getting steamed.. minding my own business.. thinking of the nice massage.. feeling great.. and all of a sudden.. something at the back of my mind just has to play spoilt sport.. so.. im thinking of the massage.. and i rememberd the 'oriental' lady.. and her face.. and then this image of the ghost from 'The Ring' pops into my mind from absolutely nowhere!!! And i just.. totally freaked out.. like where did that come from?! and then.. no matter what i tried.. i just couldnt get the image out of my head.. i had this feeling like that lady was going to appear out of the steam or something.. taking revenge for making her decendants do massages.. some crazy thoughts.. at this point i actually wanted to get out.. i know it sounds crazy now.. but then i was actually scared.. i have no idea why.. so i was a little embarassed to go running out of the room.. so i just stayed there in this way that reminded me of those school days where they used to say on-your-marks-get-set-go thingy... and then the lady.. (not the ring lady) came and said the time was up.. so i thankfully got out..

then there was a shower.. and then relaxing again.. and i got this really cool..(actually warm) herbal tea stuff that was so yummy.. and then it was over :( but really fun!!! twas a nice way to just chill and de-stress and get this forget-the-rest-of-this-world feeling.. im really looking forward to doing this again.. though next time i think i'll choose the sauna and not the steam bath hehe..

Feb 11, 2008

Khalil Gibran on Marriage.....

This is one of my all-time favourites....

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Feb 10, 2008


Does it come after me.. or is it my chosen path? I cannot deny that there is strange comfort in the world of the unspoken, in the realm of the unsaid.. a comfort that words can never offer..

Is it just easier to be silent? Or is it less interesting to speak? What would one do, if their silence is more accepted than their speech? Would silence then be a choice?

What happens when all is silent? Where do we all go? Does one visit the secret places of desire and fantasy where all that was forbidden is suddenly acceptable? Is silence then, a means to dream of something that one can never hope to acheive in the world of speech?

Does one relive one's worst fears and horrors in those few moments when nothing is said? Do people think of what brings them joy, a loved one? Where do people go when they say nothing?

Do they penalize their own selves for past mistakes they can never forgive? Do they think of the future and fear what they will be?

Is this what people do when silent? Worry, fear, fret, fantasize.. No wonder speech is more acceptable than silence..

Silence is shunned, ridiculed.. Noone can take it, nobody knows how to handle it.. Is it true that thoughts are more dangerous than words? Is silence then.. a mere lack of speech? Can a million unstoppable thoughts in the mind be collectively termed as silence?

Words have failed me.. failed to help convey what i really want to say.. Silence is where i take comfort.. But.. is this really silence? My thoughts cannot be muted even though my voice can.. Does true silence then.. really exist?


I’m writing this out of what I have seen, heard, felt, experienced and read..
Life is not a lesson. You are not here to learn anything. Life is an opportunity, for you to feel and experience and know who you really are. It is God’s way of helping you remember what you have forgotten about yourself.
Have you ever felt the sudden urge to do something in particular? Like eating an ice cream in the middle of the night, or to go off somewhere on a long long walk.. maybe on a beach.. or to watch the sun rise in silence..?
That is your soul asking you for the experience that God sent you here to have. Often you are caught up in the mundane tasks of life, like earning money, being successful, and fulfilling the dreams of others, that you end up ignoring the needs of your soul.
You and only you, can listen to the desires of your soul, and make them come true. You are your own fairy God-mother. You cannot wait for another to come up and give you the things you are waiting for. Just as well, you cannot blame another for robbing you of the right to please your soul.
Life and God are about love and pleasure. Remember the last time you were so happy that you could not keep a smile off your face? That is the ultimate state of being, and you must always strive to keep your soul that happy. When you feel the urge to love someone, it happens for a reason. It is your opportunity to give yourself the experience. It is your opportunity to pamper your soul. Love is the highest expression of who you are, and thwarting that feeling is like an insult to the gift of God.
I think that God never created a right and a wrong. In God’s world, there is only opportunity, and what you experience out of it. That is how God meant you to live. To be free to make your choices and to be free to live through them. Can you think of a time when you chose to do something even though you were told it was wrong by others, but nothing bad ever happened to you, like you were told it would? That’s because God doesn’t really mind any choice you make. God wants you to make a choice and thereby find out more about who you are. Unfortunately, the people around you have forgotten about this, and go on about right, wrong, and fearing God, and create their own notions about what should and should not be done.
Sometime in life will come a situation when your soul wants you to experience something, but certain events, people and circumstances stop you from having it. What then is the best thing to do? Should you go ahead with what you want and hurt the people around you? Or do you sacrifice your yearning for them?
I have done a lot of thinking about this. My conclusion is that you must be selfish for your yearnings, but never at the cost of deeply injuring the feelings of another. Nothing gained at the cost of hurting another living being, can be called a wholesome gain at all. Again, this is not God’s choice, this is only my opinion. But if you were to give up your yearning, it is a gain for the other at the cost of hurting your own feelings, which can hardly be called a wholesome gain either… Then what is to be done?
My answer is this: when you know you want something, never give it up. Never take any rash or drastic decisions either. Do what Mahatma Gandhi did several years ago. He dreamt of a free India and kept at it persistently until the dream was true. And finally it was. When I know I want something, I talk about it to the people who will be affected by my decision. They may not understand the first time, but I will keep saying it again and again, repeatedly, until a time will come when they will finally see the light. I find out what their fears are and make sure their questions are answered. They will finally see why something means so much to me, and they will finally be able to let go of the fears that are holding them back….
When you know you want something, keep talking about it. Keep thinking about it. It will definitely be true. Dreams do come true. All you need is to dare to dream. And dare to make them true.