May 4, 2008

I've always been a plain-jane girl-next-door kind of person...

all through life i kept wondering at what point do i stop being a person and start being a girl.... i mean.. i know what it is like to be a girl.. but to actually feel like one.. its a different thing.. and i never did.. (dont get me wrong this is not going to turn into a confession of something else lol!!)..

sometimes i wondered.. does it take a man in ur life to really make you feel all girly? well.. that's not entirely true i guess.. there are so many single women who seem so in tune with their feminity.. what is it then that distinguishes the average 'homely' women from the sensuous, sexy women that the whole world is crazy about...

is it good looks? is it being attractive, or 'well endowed' (keke..) or tall, or graceful, or having great features, or style? why is it that some women are able to do so well.. and some women are .. well... feministically-challenged??

i think i actually, really know the answer to that one.. honestly, truly.. but i dont want to face it.. i dont want to really acknowledge it.. so i keep pretending i dont know what it is....

it's what every girl who doesn't seem to care much about looks says.. 'i dont really care.. its too shallow.. i would like to be beyond mere looks.. true beauty is on the inside not outside.. etc etc..' i know.. ive given these speeches to myself loads of times.. and hey i do believe it too.. true beauty is definitely about what's inside.. and there's a lot of women who do deep and meaningful things in their lives that even justifies what they say about looks...

i guess the point im trying to make here is.. are the women of my type really justified in saying that being interested in looking good is shallow? i for one can understand that maintaining looks is not an easy business at allll.. infact, its easier to pick up and memorize a dictionary in 3 months.. than to stay on a diet,keep your skin shining, keep your hair flowing, the perfect figure the perfect clothes.. and shoes.. its real hard work.. so.. what's really wrong if that's who you choose to be.. what's so shallow about it?

i guess its only wrong when u start harming your body and your mind in a quest to look good.. which i guess is done even otherwise by other women who 'dont care' by eating and sitting around all day doing other important stuff..

so.. ive always been the plain-jane kind of girl.. the girl who never cared about looks and therefore let her looks disappear into some neverland so far far away that she doesn't know if she can ever have them again.. why does it matter? because it does.. because i think deep down inside, sub-consiously, no matter how much denied, women still do deeply care about how they look. every woman wants to have skinny thighs and great skin and an ocassional glance of admiration... atleast every woman that i have met or heard of..

i've come to realise that.. when women like me realize they can never be 'that' good-looking.. they kind of give up and resort to the 'i think beauty is over-rated' line.. kind of like stay in that safety-net-zone area...

i've also come to realize that.. (with a little help ofcourse).. that just because you cant be 'that' good looking, its no reason to completely give up on yourself and your body.. because.. however you are, your body needs you.. and the woman inside needs you too.. and truly, women love feeling pampered.. with good clothes.. with shoes, accessories, a healthy body, massages, facials.. what not..

i've definitely come to realise that.. just because i dont look like the girl on the poster.. it doesnt mean i should deny myself the right to feel sensual from inside.. and there is no rule that i need to look like the girl on the poster to be able to feel sensual at all..

feeling like a woman has nothing to do with the way a person looks.. nothing to do with what others think of you.. and nothing to do with how the world sees you.. and is not related to whether there's a man in your life or not..

feeling like a woman is about doing things like a woman.. embracing the feminine side of you.. letting yourself get the occasional pampering.. enjoying a thing or two girly-style.. taking a break from trying to succeed in a man's world.. and actually remembering to be a woman..

i wish i had realised these things earlier.. and not wasted some precious years of my youth.. but i guess better late than never..

there are still somethings that i am severely handicapped at.. like picking out good clothes and shoes and bags.. im also fasionistically-challenged..

but i can work on the things that i can do.. and i will do...

im not sure if i can change the way i look from outside, but i can definitely change the way i feel from inside... that is in my control.. and will be in my control forever..

i've got a lot of thinking and planning to do.. (im so excited! i love doing that)... i guess i will keep posting more stuff here as i go forward... hopefully it will work out great...


  1. Hi my story too... i was a kind of a slob in college never bothered abt dress and looks but i hav changed a lot since then and miles to go. u r rt.. how c urself really matters and this is the only thing tht determines how others perceive and treat u. this is wht i hav observed abt women on the other side, so to speak.. believe u need to believe u r beautiful and viola the world changes the way it sees u or may be they always saw tht way but u recognize it now... the challenge is to keep believing in urself no matter wht happs and treat urself the way u deserve. Remember Diana Hayden .. all ppl may not call her a gr8 beauty but in the ad when she says "I am worth it" she really believes it and of course she won the contest only becos of her confidence. phew long comment :) In short, Believe ur worth it.

  2. good to read ur simple thoughts...what I beleive that every girl has a fragile kernel and a common denominator (though there are few exceptions).there are different phases in girl's life and the most important one is mother phase. A women is incomplete withour bearing a much science advances man cannot suffer from the pleasure pain...i am enjoying ur write ups because it is simple and straight out of your mind. Keep whistling...

  3. hey sumitra good one
    i mean never really gave a thought like this ..

    n must say every write of urs keeps the mind working..
    i liked it..
    will give it a thought on my own way lets see wht i think about it