Feb 8, 2012

Siesta




Img Credit: h.koppdelany


I’m sitting in my aunt’s house, it’s newly constructed. I’m trying to change my clothes. The walls are disappearing. What I thought was a room turned out to be a balcony. I’m trying to hurry up. There are several people in the house, several voices. They are related to me, very distantly. M is nearby. He’s smiling, like an acquaintance. I feel a bond, but the bond is feeble, not as strong as before. A young girl comes up to me, stands beside me. She is dark, sweaty, unattractive, overweight. Yet, she is well dressed. She calls me mum. She’s probably in her mid teens. She tells me she wants to go shopping. I tell her, sure dear, let’s do it. Now? Where do you want to shop, Delhi? Mumbai? Here, in Chennai? You name the place and we’ll go there. I feel the need to indulge her. She hasn’t done anything wrong. She’s been a good daughter. She looks innocent and sweet. I like this girl. She tells me she doesn’t want to go now, because it’ll interfere with her studies. She says she wants to go after the exams, during the holidays before she starts college. I agree. I can’t remember what she’s studying. I just know she’s my daughter, I have no other memory of her. I feel regret.

The scene shifts. I’m sitting outside a huge mansion. It is built in the style of ancient Indian architecture but it’s new. I don’t know what’s the purpose of this building but it isn’t someone’s home. I’m sitting among a group of people and Sadhguru is sitting before us. M is somewhere in the group, not beside me. I suddenly realize I’m missing something, I left it at the hotel. I need to go get it and get back. I start walking barefoot, the path to the hotel is up a small hill. I walk ten steps, near enough so that Sadhguru’s voice on the microphone is still audible. He’s talking about a story, of the enlightenment of Lord Vinayaka, which happened on those hills. As he speaks, I look up and there is a temple of a Goddess on the slope. I realize that I’m standing on the exact spot of Ganesha’s enlightenment. I am unable to move. I need to go forward. I look back, I’m not too far away I think, no one will miss me. I am overcome by the urge to sit down right there. I fall to the ground, close my eyes. A song is playing now, a powerful one. I fall bang into meditation. I go deeper than I ever have gone before. I’m forgetting who I am, I can feel it. The identity of Sumitra is getting all erased, wiped out. Everything is blanking fast. It’s scary, I panic. I want to go back, I have to go back. I force myself to get out of this. It’s like a black hole, pulling me fast into the void and I’m struggling to pull the plug. Finally I yank my eyes open. I’m in my aunt’s house. Changing my clothes. I hear several voices. But I am alone.



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11 comments:

  1. Very interesting. I liked it.

    Have you read some of Woody Allen's written work? If you haven't please do if you find time, going by your writing style am sure you'd love it.

    Loved your blog and style of writing.

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    1. Hey there, DB, welcome! I haven't read any of his work, but I have watched quite a few of his movies. Now that you've mentioned it, I'll try to get my hands on his writing. Thanks for the kind words, I'm happy you liked my blog :)

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  2. a dream within a dream?
    very well narrated..was able to travel through and feel the emotions.

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  3. Love it all. http://paquetevistasbien.blogspot.com

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  4. Indeed interesting Sumitra !!
    It was nice to travel inside the mind of the brilliant writer residing in you :)

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    1. Thanks, Serendipity! You are too kind :)

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  5. Felt inceptionish :)

    Loved it! been there my friend. Fuzzy images, new locations, babies, people, ugly faces, awesome ones, crazy languages, weird expressions. Seen it all.

    Okay, now you must think I'm plain crazy! :P

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    1. 'Inceptionish' - haha. No, I don't think you're crazy. My dreams are very very crazy too. I've seen complete action/horror flicks in my dreams, so :D

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  6. Very interesting .. some times I see weird dreams but I wont be able to express it this well. well written.. I can feel ur urgency kinda lived ur dream while reading it.. My last and latest weird dream was me in a coffin... I know kinda scary right. when u see urself in a coffin. I freaked out... Loved the way u wrote ..

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