Prince Charming does not, I repeat, does not exist. Neither does the Frog Prince.
There, I’ve said it. But you know, the more I think about
it, the more I realize that the story of the frog turning into a prince with
true love’s kiss is actually metaphorical. Real-life frogs of a particular
variety, the ‘good’ variety, can indeed transform into something nice, when and
only when need be.
So allow me to present to you, a few important things that
you need to know about frogs and good frogs, before you end up marrying them.
‘Girl Problems’
You will be crying/PMSing/in the depths of
depression/extremely irritable for a completely valid reason that all your
girlfriends would get in a jiffy, yet said frog would be totally clueless as to
what’s happening to you. He will start off by treating it as some sort of
mechanical failure, trying to ‘fix’ it,
and you. Wrong, wrong, wrong, right?
The Good Frog: After true love’s kiss and also after many
educational sessions, this one can be trained to respond in a more appropriate
manner during future breakdowns.
Presents and such
You will have started dropping hints about what you would
like for a birthday/anniversary gift at the exact time that is not too late so
he has time to shop, and not so early that he might end up forgetting about it.
And yes, he will not forget what you said, but said frog will be too thick to
get the hint. So after racking his brains about what to get you, he will
finally buy something that you neither like nor can use.
The Good Frog: After seeing the disappointment you are
trying to hide with a smile, Good Frog will slap his forehead, kick himself for
not getting the hint and take you out to buy you what you really want. Yes,
this is definitely a possibility after true love’s kiss.
Ahh, Housework…
The thing about most Indian frogs is that they’re spoilt
silly by their moms. Also by a few aunts and cousins, who believe him to be the
prince he never really transformed into. So in all possibility, he has never
cooked, washed dishes, done laundry, cleaned his room, or done anything
remotely related to physical labor at home.
The Good Frog: A few sessions of ‘Perspective Cleansing’ later, said frog will
realize that the ‘frogettes’ of his generation have pretty much been raised the
same way – spoilt silly by their
moms. A mutual understanding with regards to sharing of household
responsibilities can be reached, once temper tantrums have given way to a
mature conversation.
Romance, or Lack Thereof
Frogs can be pretty sneaky when it comes to their
woo-powers. Actually, stingy is the right word. They will use these powers only
to the exact amount needed to ‘pataofy’ (impress) a girl. After girl has fallen
for the frog-charms, all romantic capabilities will vanish into thin air,
faster than you can say Evanesco! More
so, after the wedding bells have sounded. Tell me, what is a poor girl to do
without some romance in her life?
The Good Frog: Despair not, my frogette sisters, for all
hope is not lost when the Good Frog is around. After making sure that his ‘needs’
are met, it is easy to appeal to him with logic and reason that our needs are
important as well. Said frog will then use the powers of Google to come up with
romantic ideas and (after botching up a few things), will do something to our
liking once in a while.
So there you have it, my two-cents about the Frogs of Our
Lives. Of course, I will have several more points to add when little
Froggitties come into the picture. Until then, I leave you to ponder some more
over these little tidbits of frog-wisdom.
