Mar 16, 2008

INFP - the healer....




For years i found it hard to believe i am a Leo. I wondered if sun-signs were really true, or accurate.. or even made any sense.. but it seemed to make sense to many other people.. most other people.. they were always able to 'belong'.. then why din't i? i would wonder why i could never find the remotest similarity between me and the described characteristics of a leo.. i came to the conclusion that perhaps the date of my birth was wrong.. and then searched all the other sun-signs for a shred of resemblance..i found there would be some in all the signs..but i couldn't possibly be all put together.. makes no sense... was i like an exception to the rule? the person who could be fit nowhere? or was all of this just meaningless coincidence that worked for some people only..

after several years of this confusion.. one of my dear friends introduced me to the concept of MBTI.. according to which all the people in this world can be broadly divided in 16 personality types.. depending on whether they are introverted or extroverted they way they perceive, sense the world and they way they judge, make decisions..

one online test later.. i found myself reading a description.. of what seemed to be exactly me. i felt like someone who had known me for longer than ever and better than me had actually written down every single thing about me.. exactly the way i have been. it was a wonderful feeling.. to see that a concept exists that is able to describe me.. and able to even describe quite accurately the other people i know..

according to this concept.. i am an INFP.. Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving person.. which is pretty much true.. and makes sense..

reading about myself helped a lot.. in understanding me better.. and explaining a few of my charectaristics.. and figuring out why i have always felt so misunderstood..

A brief description of INFP --- (scraped from here )


The Portait of the Healer (INFP)


Healer Idealists are abstract in thought and speech. Healer present a seemingly tranquil, and noticably pleasant face to the world, and though to all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved, having a capacity for caring not always found in other types. They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world.

Healers have a profound sense of idealism derived from a strong personal morality, and they conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place. Indeed, to understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad or Joan of Arc. Healers are found in only 1 percent of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity.

Healers seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect, perhaps because they are likely to have a sense of inner division threaded through their lives, which comes from their often unhappy childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood, which, unfortunately, is discouraged or even punished by many parents. In a practical-minded family, required by their parents to be sociable and industrious in concrete ways, and also given down-to-earth siblings who conform to these parental expectations, Healers come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. Other types usually shrug off parental expectations that do not fit them, but not the Healers. Wishing to please their parents and siblings, but not knowing quite how to do it, they try to hide their differences, believing they are bad to be so fanciful, so unlike their more solid brothers and sisters. They wonder, some of them for the rest of their lives, whether they are OK. They are quite OK, just different from the rest of their family-swans reared in a family of ducks. Even so, to realize and really believe this is not easy for them. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, Healers can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. Healers are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with the profane, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when Healers believe thay have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the Healer, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public.

(end of scraped content)

the best thing i like about this concept is.. it has nothing to do with religious beliefs, no astrology and no fate involved. it makes sense. its based on analysis and observation.

if anyone reading this feels compelled to figure out their personality type, the test may be taken here

information about all types is freely available on the net. just google it.

Feb 27, 2008

Sometimes i wonder...




is god is a school kid.. and this whole universe, a science project..

its amazing how we are a tinier than tiny, miniscule part of the universe, and yet how complicated we can make our daily lives and get so engrossed in it so that we have no time to ponder at how mysterious and beautiful everything is around us..

were all the avatars of Lord Rama the same concept of animagi in harry potter? was Rama a wizard who had magical powers to transform himself into animals and strange creatures?

who stood this very spot that i am at right now, a 1000 years ago? could it have been me in a different life??

does my soul know the soul of the stranger who sits beside me in a crowded bus? do we acknowledge each other without the mind knowing it?

what if god came here right now.. and told me that fate does not exist and it was me who wrote my entire life's story before i was born.. and i chose all the people i would meet and circumstances that i'm in right now.. (hehe.. what was i thinking??!)

what if a father disowned his son for wanting to be a doctor and not an actor..

would this world be the same place if kids were taught to follow their dreams instead of the marks of the neighbour's kid..

is there a secret book that categorically defines all the actions termed as 'right'.. and those called 'wrong'..


if a child spelt 'life' as 'liph'.. and was given a star for understanding the meaning..


what if we all felt that true freedom is freedom from the conditioning of the mind to see the world in a certain way.. what if we decided to break free of the chains of conditioning..

is it really true that the beauty of this world lies in its ability to show itself to us exactly the way we see it.. and hence we have the power to create whatever we fancy around us..

what if we discovered that we really have that power..

are we so conditioned that we would find it easier to accept 'karma' and not bother to use the power..

or would we leave the 'intelligent' scientists to use the power to create gadgets that make us more conditioned..

is it true that we must always 'fear' god..

is it true that we must ignore the fact that we could never have had a sense of humour if god did not have one in the first place..

are we supposed to be ignoring the possibility that all this world put together is actually God, and we have the power to create.. and we might be using all our power to create a future of destruction through hate, violence and negative competition..

are these valid wonderings.. do they have real answers? or just a million other questions in response....

Feb 24, 2008

Ooooooooooo Noooooorieeeeeeeeeeee.........


Yesterday was such a crazy crazy day..well what else can i expect being with baba.. Freaky-Freakenstein he is.. keeps trying to scare me with his weird stunts.. but he never can.. (welll.. almost never can.. hehe)

yeah.. so last night was crazy.. me, baba and sai anna were supposed to go out to dinner from neetu's place.. so we happily got ready.. and happily locked the door.. and baba was trying to imitate the lift's lady voice which i still think he should not have done.. and we happily got into the lift.. and for less than a fraction of a second i got this weird thought that something stupid might happen.. and then i dismissed it.. and we got in, closed the door, pressed '0', started moving.. and thennnnnn......... Power Cut!!!! Lift stuck and us stuck in the lift.. and we had no idea where the lift was.. kinda looked like it was in-between two floors.. but it was too dark.. and me and sai anna are like.. oh shit what now and stuff.. and what does baba do?? He has to do something mad right..starts screaming realll loud.. 'OOOOOOOOOOOO Nooooooooorie Noooooooooooooooorie..' and tried making all weird spooky ghost noises to scare me.. (which he didnt anyway).. and me and sai anna were trying to shut him up.. so the situation was something like this...

Big apartment building, no power, totally dark(duh..), totally silent.. ppl in their homes.. one elevator, 3 ppl stuck in it, one screaming like a banshee and the other 2 screaming to shut him up.. well it was freaky and funny at the same time.. an then one of us (dun remember who) got the common sense to get some light from the mobile (it wasnt baba).. and realised we really were stuck in between 2 floors.. and we could try to climb out if we could just get the outer door open.. which had to be done by pushing some kind of lever that we couldnt reach.. so we were there.. baba screaming still.. me and sai anna wondering how long we would be in there.. hungry... and then all of a sudden..... we saw a light.. yellow light.. candle light.. coming up the stairs.. and with the light.. a little boy.. in shorts.. coming closer to the lift.. slow small steps.. came really really close till we could see his face in the candle light.. all went silent.. (yes even baba).. and then the voice of the scared little boy.. "kaun hai... kaun hai.." and then.. the 3 of us were like.. "help! help! we're stuck.. help help!" and the poor boy got scared all the more.. haha.. by this time a lot of ppl were coming out of their homes to see what the ruckus was all about.. and we shouted for help somemore.. and ppl came with their torches peering into the lift to see what was stuck.. i guess they wouldnt help until they were sure it wasnt really a ghost in the lift.. and then ppl realised they had to help us out.. and then figured out were the emergency lever was.. and then a real smart-ass lady tried to push the lever with a stick from the broom.. which obviously broke.. and then finally someone got an iron rod.. and we managed to scramble out of the lift.. and as sooooooooooon as we got out........... guess what.. that very second.. the power came back on!! freaky..

i still think it was because baba offended the lift-lady.. and she had some fun of her own....


And then we finally got to dinner.. and so did meenal.. this place called Terrace Bay.. was pretty good.. and during dinner i came to a conclusion that baba is racist!! Towards drinks. I'll explain. So meenal ordered this blue mocktail..which was actually pretty good and baba thinks that.. if guys are seen with blue colored drinks.. that makes them look gay!! or for that matter pink, green or any other colored drinks.. the only okay ones are colorless or yellow colored.. which i totally do not agree with.. coz i think ppl should be free to drink whatever they choose without any tags attached.. but baba and sai anna say that if a guy in a pub has a blue drink in his hand that automatically looks gay.. so that makes them drink-racists.!!

well..i guess ppl have a right to choose their drinks and also their opinions.. so.. whatever...

Feb 19, 2008

Reeelaxation Redefined............



I had the most amaaaaaaaaazing weekend.. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm......

I think i found a place that gives the best massages ever.. okay maybe there are better places, but its the best ive ever been to.. before i thought i just liked massages but now i just love them!!!
So i got a free massage.. hehe.. maybe that's why i liked it so much..


I'm not really sure what type of massage it was.. it wasnt the actual massage itself i think that was great.. more like the whole ambience and the way i was treated.. the staff were so curteous, first i got to relax on this nice soft-soft couch.. and i was served fresh watermelon juice.. twas kind of diluted but still.. pretty good.. and then i got to change into a nice soft fluffy robe.. and the actual massage room was really good.. dim lights, soft music.. (there's a lot of softs i know..) and i was made to sit in the room by this chinese lady (im not sure if she was chinese.. oriental i could say..) and my feet were washed!! that's their way of welcoming the guests supposedly.. or maybe a way of making sure their sheets dint get too dirty.. hehe.. and then the actual massage.. that was just heavenly.. and then the steam bath... that was just.. well.. actually... that was kind of.. what can i say... scary... hehe.. i know!! weird right???? what's so scary about a steam bath.. right?? well i guess im such a weirdo and my mind suddenly decides to make up crazy stuff for no reason..



so.. im in the steam bath room area.. note that im alone in there.. and im just sitting there.. getting steamed.. minding my own business.. thinking of the nice massage.. feeling great.. and all of a sudden.. something at the back of my mind just has to play spoilt sport.. so.. im thinking of the massage.. and i rememberd the 'oriental' lady.. and her face.. and then this image of the ghost from 'The Ring' pops into my mind from absolutely nowhere!!! And i just.. totally freaked out.. like where did that come from?! and then.. no matter what i tried.. i just couldnt get the image out of my head.. i had this feeling like that lady was going to appear out of the steam or something.. taking revenge for making her decendants do massages.. some crazy thoughts.. at this point i actually wanted to get out.. i know it sounds crazy now.. but then i was actually scared.. i have no idea why.. so i was a little embarassed to go running out of the room.. so i just stayed there in this way that reminded me of those school days where they used to say on-your-marks-get-set-go thingy... and then the lady.. (not the ring lady) came and said the time was up.. so i thankfully got out..



then there was a shower.. and then relaxing again.. and i got this really cool..(actually warm) herbal tea stuff that was so yummy.. and then it was over :( but really fun!!! twas a nice way to just chill and de-stress and get this forget-the-rest-of-this-world feeling.. im really looking forward to doing this again.. though next time i think i'll choose the sauna and not the steam bath hehe..